Book & DVD Reviews
Brainwave members and friends have reviewed the following books & DVDs. We do not sell these items, but they are readily available from bookstrores and online book retailers, such as www.compass.ac.nz
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Dance with me in the Heart – the adult’s guide to great infant- parent partnerships
Author: Pennie Brownlee, NZ, 2008
With so much new research available and multitudes of beliefs and claimed silver bullets to sift through, what parents are really after are simple facts and common sense to base their parenting strategies on. “Dance with me in the Heart” by New Zealander Pennie Brownlee provides just this. Linking science and day to day parenting, Pennie generates the “how to” of baby and toddler parenting without prescribing “how to”. She provides the key to maximising the potential of every new baby – what you do once the door is opened is up to you and your baby; the dance step possibilities are endless as you create your dance together.
Pennie’s understanding of infant development and the emergence of human potential arises from a combination of the latest research in neuro-physiology and neuro-cardiology and practical experience as a learner, a teacher, a daughter, sister, mother and now a grandmother. Using science and logic and much love for all infants Pennie looks critically at the status quo for Kiwi parenting strategies and calmly picks apart the impacts of various beliefs we hold as true in New Zealand about babies. With sound reasoning Pennie challenges some of these beliefs and offers alternatives that make sense, especially in the context of considering the babies’ perspectives – our partners in dance wishing to learn and grow with us as their models.
“Dance with me in the Heart” was written in the years following a major eureka moment for Pennie: “in that moment I realised that all I knew about babies was up for a very serious revision. I had obviously entirely missed who these amazing Beings really were.” Pennie has gone on to create this insightful and refreshingly up to date look into how babies need to be treated in order that they may grow to reach their full genetic potential, which, for all babies, includes the highest human qualities such as respect, trust and empathy.
Looking at specific elements of any baby and toddler’s day – eating, sleeping, play, movement, tantrums, and toileting – the basic premise suggested for creating parenting strategies is that the child as a free and equal human being deserving of respect and conscious parenting. The common theme is parent and infant interacting together in a dance led by the parent taking their cues from their child, right from birth. Pennie utilises the vast amount of research now available to support the efficacy and need for such respectful, reciprocal interactions and foundations for strategies in caring for children during their early years; and does so in a simplified manner to ensure this valuable information is accessible to all.
Pennie’s book is very easy to read and tantalisingly difficult to put down. Short sections within each chapter have been carefully crafted so as to be self-contained as well as flowing logically through to the next – where to stop when there’s so much to consider for the continuing nurturing of my relationship with my baby? A key issue is the challenge that this book provides in evaluating and reflecting on what we think we know about babies. This is, however, also an exciting opportunity for each parent embarking on the reflective journey; and who is more worthy of me taking on this challenge than a new life ready to dance with me in the heart?
Reviewed by Sarah Best, Brainwave Presenter Wellington
A grandmother said: “Since reading this book I now see my young grandchildren differently and know I need to change how I am with them; I recognise how I can influence their potential”
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The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog and other stories from a child psychiatrist’s notebook
Authors: Bruce Perry, M.D., Ph.D. and Maia Szalavitz
New York: Basic Books 2007.
In this elegantly and sensitively written book, Dr. Bruce Perry does for child psychiatry what Oliver Sacks has done for neurology*. Perry and his co-author make accessible to the general reader both the science and the art of working as a mental health therapist with some of the most vulnerable members of our societies. The cases let us enter not only the lives of the terribly damaged children that are described, but also the detailed clinical thinking of someone whose deep-seated humanity has allowed him to make the very best use of the most up-to-date brain science, to which he has also contributed. As such it is as much intellectual history as it is case-study, and all the stronger for it.
In the pages of this book, you will meet the children brain-washed by David Korech at the Branch Davidian compound in Waco Texas. You will meet a boy whose childless caregiver gave him what he believed was sufficient: the same care as he gave his dogs. You will meet a family whose one son is a well-adjusted contributor to society and the other a brutal murderer and rapist. Why the difference? Because at a crucial stage of the second son’s life, he was left alone for long periods of the day by parents who did not understand that food, clothing and warmth are not enough. Another story tells of a young girl whose failure to thrive turned out to be because her poorly raised mother did not know how to give the love and touch that she herself had never had.
These stories and many others in the book are stories of terrible crimes against children, most of them born of ignorance rather than malice. And it would be easy to take a moral high-ground and suggest that these terrible deeds are a product of an American society that has little in common with our own. However, our rates of child abuse and neglect in New Zealand – 9 children each year killed by a caregiver, 193 children hospitalized in 2006 with deliberately inflicted injuries, 5,077 children in care – suggest no cause for complacency. The stories in this book could just as easily have been New Zealand stories, and the responses we need to make to them need to be equally sophisticated and well informed by neuroscience as Dr. Perry’s.
Reading this book, I discovered all over again why Dr. Perry is a world leader in child psychiatry and neuroscience. I found it reinforced the importance of the work we do in Brainwave Trust. And I felt thankful anew that we have been so lucky to have Dr. Perry work directly with us in New Zealand. If anyone doubts the importance of the Brainwave Trust, they need only read this wonderful book.
Reveiwed by Susan Foster-Cohen, Ph.D.
Brainwave Presenter Christchurch
* ‘The Man who Mistook his Wife for a Hat’, and other volumes
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Attachment Focused Parenting: Effective Strategies for Care of Children
Author: Daniel A. Hugues Published by WW Norton & Co.
A review by Angela Marriott, Canterbury Chairperson
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The Science of Parenting: How today’s brain research can help you raise happy, emotionally balanced children.
Author: Margot Sunderland. DK Publishing Inc. 2006
This is a wonderful book that parents and professionals should enjoy reading either cover to cover or dipping into as needed. Packed with photos & laid out in multiple formats, it provides advice to parents supported by brain research, personal case studies and invitations for reflections on how they are doing as parents. Key areas covered include crying and separations, sleep and bedtimes, discipline, coping with trying times, and helping a child become socially intelligent. As world renowned expert on emotional development Jaak Panksepp says in the forward, “This superb manual for child rearing describes how healthy minds emerge from emotionally well-fertilized brains”. I could not agree more.
Reveiwed by Susan Foster-Cohen, Ph.D.
Brainwave Presenter Christchurch
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HELPING YOUR BABY TO SLEEP: Why Gentle Techniques Work Best
By Anni Gethin & Beth Mcgregor
Time to end the distressing practice of ‘controlled crying’.
Every day new parents are being encouraged to ‘train’ their child to sleep – a practice in which they ignore their baby’s crying and distress. In a groundbreaking new book, Helping Your Baby to Sleep, Australian educators Anni Gethin and Beth Macgregor draw on international research into babies’ emotional and brain development to show that gentle sleep techniques are best for babies. By contrast, they argue that the popular ‘controlled crying’ approach can be detrimental for children and their parents.They state: “The stories parents tell about controlled crying are often truly shocking. Many babies are suffering extreme distress over many nights; it is common for parents to say that their babies ‘scream hysterically’ and ‘cry so hard that they vomit”. Even in the best case scenarios where babies cry for relatively short periods; parents describe the process as ‘horrid’, ‘heartbreaking’ and ‘torture’. Controlled crying also frequently needs to be repeated once its initial effects wear off. Babies are ill-equipped to cope with this amount of stress. The brain structures that help us cope with stress are built in the first years of life by sensitive and responsive parenting. This is why gentle sleep techniques are so important and why controlled crying can be so harmful for babies. It is completely normal for babies to need help to get sleep, as the brain processes which allow them to go to sleep by themselves take time to develop. Leaving a baby alone and awake will often cause her primitive survival mechanisms to kick in, causing her to cry and scream for the safety of her parents. It is also normal for babies to wake up at night. Despite what parents are often told, there is no magic age at which a baby should be sleeping through. In fact, like walking and talking, the age at which babies will naturally sleep through the night varies widely. This is thought to be because the brain mechanism which governs sleep matures at different ages for different children. Depriving a baby of parental care and contact at bedtime does not teach a baby independence; instead he learns that his parents cannot be relied upon to provide comfort and reassurance and so gives up calling for help. This is why controlled crying risks damaging the most important bond of all for a child – one that grows from being able to trust and depend on his parents.”We also recognise that parents can suffer from the sleep deprivation that comes with a very wakeful baby. This is why we offer advice on how to address problems which can increase wakefulness, and how parents can get much needed support.
“About the Authors: Anni Gethin is a health social scientist with special interests in early childhood development and health equity. She runs a research and planning consultancy, lectures in public health and social science, and is a mother of three boys. Beth Macgregor is a psychologist who trains health and welfare workers in infant mental health, child development and child protection. She has worked as a child protection caseworker, specialist and researcher, and is an active member of the Australian Association for Infant Mental Health. Her work as a specialist educator is devoted to creating happier children, families and societies. Beth is the mother of a delightful little boy.
Helping Your Baby to Sleep: Why gentle techniques work best covers:
- What are some of the gentle techniques you recommend for helping babies to sleep and what are the benefits of using these techniques for infants and their parents?
- Why do some babies cry and wake repeatedly through the night?
- Doesn’t ‘controlled crying’ encourage babies to develop a sleep pattern and eventually learn to sleep independently through the night without waking?
- What advice would you give to exhausted parents who are stressed and having difficulty settling their crying babies?
- What should they do if their baby won’t stop crying?
- What are some of the myths about babies and sleep?
- How can parents ensure they are responsive to their babies’ needs?
- There are many supporters of the ‘controlled crying’ technique of sleep training. What does your research suggest about the physical and emotional risks of this technique for infants and their parents?
- Having a new baby at home can be a stressful time for parents. What advice can you give them for taking care of themselves at this time?
Reviews:
“At last – an antidote to the current vogue for leaving babies to cry! Many parents have felt intuitively that this cannot be the way to deal with their infants but too often they are encouraged to ignore their feelings and to ignore baby’s distress signals as well.” Prof. Carolyn Quadrio, School of Psychiatry, University of New South Wales.
“This is a beautiful book, rich with empathy for babies and parents, and also practical and down-to-earth.” Sheila Kitzinger, social anthropologist of birth, author of 24 books, including Understanding Your Crying Baby.
“I can’t imagine any parent reading this informed, wise and powerfully argued book, and ever wanting to use controlled crying again.” Steve Biddulph, author of The Secret of Happy Children, Raising Boys and other major parenting books.
“Gethin and Macgregor’s work is an outstanding example of translating very recent advances in the developmental sciences into sensitive, empathic models of child rearing…I highly recommend this important book.” Allan N Schore PhD, UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, author of Affect Dysregulation and Disorders of the Self.
“With so many resources available, the pressure to conform is very present. There is no absolute science to parenting, we can only be guided by the distress signals that our children express, Anni Gethin & Beth Macgregor will help you read those signals and determine what is best for your child and how to nuture your child into sleeping patterns.” Michelle Warmuz, Femail.com.au – Editor
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